Comments on: A quick-hit but high-impact profile http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/ curious by nature, journalist by trade Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:49:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 by: Reality Bites, NEPAL http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-2081 Wed, 06 Jun 2007 11:39:19 +0000 http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-2081 “You could have knocked me over. I probably had tears in my eyes.”.................. Meranda , you have written in a simple and clear manner. I think you include all the important paramenters of the news value that the story needs. Hopefully, I like your story ending style , which is so much touchy. Keep continue your hardwork. Thanks. “You could have knocked me over. I probably had tears in my eyes.”………………
Meranda , you have written in a simple and clear manner. I think you include all
the important paramenters of the news value that the story needs.
Hopefully, I like your story ending style , which is so much touchy. Keep continue
your hardwork.
Thanks.

]]> by: Charles http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1971 Thu, 31 May 2007 09:38:30 +0000 http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1971 <i>The problem with having too much material and too little space and time to write what you want is there’s always the thought of how you could have done it differently if you’d had more or less of anything.</i> Welcome to newspaper journalism! The problem with having too much material and too little space and time to write what you want is there’s always the thought of how you could have done it differently if you’d had more or less of anything.

Welcome to newspaper journalism!

]]> by: Meranda http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1913 Mon, 28 May 2007 14:03:16 +0000 http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1913 Charles — I think you're right that there are any number of ways I could have written it differently, and some may very well have worked better. I chose the lead I did because I was trying to focus on the impact he had on the community padded by details of his career throughout. That also lead to my choice of anecdotes and quotes later on. Perhaps I could have included more detail about the student in the lead — you could hear how heart broken he was to learn his bus driver was leaving as he overheard my interview with him, which spoke volumes of the type of driver Serie was to the students. They looked up to him and considered him a friend (a point I thought using the quote where the 7 year-old-calls the 68-year-old by his first name made). The problem with having too much material and too little space and time to write what you want is there's always the thought of how you could have done it differently if you'd had more or less of anything. It is what it is, but thank you for your suggestion. Maybe I'll practice rewriting it through to see if I like any of them better. It's quite possible I will, and either way it's a good exercise to go through. Charles — I think you’re right that there are any number of ways I could have written it differently, and some may very well have worked better.

I chose the lead I did because I was trying to focus on the impact he had on the community padded by details of his career throughout. That also lead to my choice of anecdotes and quotes later on. Perhaps I could have included more detail about the student in the lead — you could hear how heart broken he was to learn his bus driver was leaving as he overheard my interview with him, which spoke volumes of the type of driver Serie was to the students. They looked up to him and considered him a friend (a point I thought using the quote where the 7 year-old-calls the 68-year-old by his first name made).

The problem with having too much material and too little space and time to write what you want is there’s always the thought of how you could have done it differently if you’d had more or less of anything. It is what it is, but thank you for your suggestion. Maybe I’ll practice rewriting it through to see if I like any of them better. It’s quite possible I will, and either way it’s a good exercise to go through.

]]> by: Charles http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1912 Mon, 28 May 2007 12:04:53 +0000 http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1912 I can believe that he was a great interviewee. But I'm not sure you caught the pathos of it quite right. Take this as the gentlest suggestion, but I think you could try it at least three other ways - leading with the proudest night. Leading with the first day he drove and why he'd signed up. Leading with what he thinks he'll do the first day he's *not* driving. Try them. See if any is better. See if the story runs better from them. Perfect intro (lead), perfect story; imperfect intro, imperfect story. I can believe that he was a great interviewee. But I’m not sure you caught the pathos of it quite right. Take this as the gentlest suggestion, but I think you could try it at least three other ways - leading with the proudest night. Leading with the first day he drove and why he’d signed up. Leading with what he thinks he’ll do the first day he’s *not* driving.

Try them. See if any is better. See if the story runs better from them. Perfect intro (lead), perfect story; imperfect intro, imperfect story.

]]> by: Jaclyn http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1862 Fri, 25 May 2007 18:01:14 +0000 http://merandawrites.com/2007/05/23/a-quick-hit-but-high-impact-profile/#comment-1862 I just had one of those interviews, too! She's a dorm mom at a local university, and she grew up in South Korea. She watched her mom kill herself when she was five, and she forgave all the problems with her dad and stepmom (there were many) from a single Bible verse. She wasn't a Bible thumper; she was a woman whose life was genuinely changed by religion or spirituality or God or whatever it is you like to call that. And she's this beautiful 40-something woman with this fab accent that had me asking her to repeat every other sentence. We met at a local café, and it was hard not to hug her when she left. Yay, cool interviews! I just had one of those interviews, too! She’s a dorm mom at a local university, and she grew up in South Korea. She watched her mom kill herself when she was five, and she forgave all the problems with her dad and stepmom (there were many) from a single Bible verse. She wasn’t a Bible thumper; she was a woman whose life was genuinely changed by religion or spirituality or God or whatever it is you like to call that. And she’s this beautiful 40-something woman with this fab accent that had me asking her to repeat every other sentence. We met at a local café, and it was hard not to hug her when she left. Yay, cool interviews!

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